I've heard this line hundreds of times — in offices, gyms, bars, and even church. I've heard it from friends, comedians, and even politicians.

"I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse."

It came from THE GODFATHER in 1972. Written by Mario Puzo and Francis Ford Coppola, the line instantly became part of our everyday banter.

What was it about the writing that made this line so popular? And what can you learn that will dramatically improve your own screenwriting?

We're about to discover the quality of writing that made a good line into the 2nd most memorable line in movie history.

HINT: As you read the scenes and my notes, notice how the writer builds meaning for this line. By itself, the line has little real meaning. But the three scenes below are specifically designed to create a unique meaning and then amplify it.

FROM THE GODFATHER

The movie opens with the wedding of Don Corleone's daughter. It is a huge outdoor event with hundreds of important people — family, mob members, and even politicians.

In his office, Don Corleone is granting requests. According to Cicilian tradition, he must accept any reasonable request on the day of his daughter's wedding.

We'll start with Michael Corleone, the Godfather's son, talking with his soon-to-be wife, Kay.

EXT. DAY: MALL (SUMMER 1945)

JOHNNY FONTANE on the bandstand, singing to the delight and excitement of the wedding
GUESTS.

KAY
Mike, you never told me you knew Johnny
Fontane.

MICHAEL
Sure… You wanna meet him?

KAY
Huh? O, well, sure.

MICHAEL
My father helped him with his career.

KAY
He did? How?

 MICHAEL
Let's listen to the song.

NOTE: So they've established that Johnny Fontane is a famous celebrity and Kay has been hooked into hearing how the Godfather helped him. At this point, we're mildly interested, but that is about to change.

KAY
Oh, Michael.
(beat)

Please, Michael, tell me.

MICHAEL

Well, when Johnny was first starting out, he was signed to this personal service contract with a big band leader. And as his career got better and better, he wanted to get out of it. Now, Johnny is my father's godson. And my father went to see this band leader, and he offered him $10,000 to let Johnny go. But the band leader said no. So the next day, my father went to see him; only this time with Luca Brasi. And within an hour, he signed a release, for a certified check for $1,000.

NOTE: A mystery has been created. Why would someone agree to $1000 when the day before, they wouldn't take $10,000?

KAY
How'd he do that?

MICHAEL
My father made him an offer he couldn't refuse.

NOTE: There's the first use of this line. It is given as a solution to the problem Johnny Fontane had. It is such a good solution that someone would accept 1/10th. Not bad.

First, notice that this is a unique line. Most people make offers and hope that they are accepted. But what is an offer that someone can't refuse? Based upon what is said above, it isn't about more money. What is it?

Notice how we are being lured in, how this one line is being amplified? Clearly, this kind of offer has much more impact than most negotiating techniques.

How do we know all of that? Because the writer set it up for us. Now, we're about to get the first payoff.

KAY
What was that?

MICHAEL

Luca Brasi held a gun to his head, and my father
assured him that either his brains — or his signature
— would be on the contract.
(beat)
That's a true story.
(off her look)
That's my family, Kay. It's not me.

NOTE: Okay, now we know what he meant before. But I believe this line would have died right here… if it wasn't demonstrated for us in a way that was visual, emotional and unique.

Also, this scene has created a reputation for the line and for the Godfather. We may not believe that story, yet, but this reputation will be paid off and when it is, we'll have a deeper experience because of this setup.

Now, let's cut to the next time the line is used.

INT. DAY: DON'S OFFICE (SUMMER 1945)

 JOHNNY
I don't know what to do. My voice is weak. It's weak. Anyway, uh, if I had this part in the picture, ya'know, it puts me right back up on top again. But this, this man out there, he won't give it to me; the head of the studio.

DON CORLEONE
What's his name?

JOHNNY
Woltz — Woltz. He — He won't give it to me. He says there's no chance. No chance. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.

JOHNNY starts crying.

NOTE: There is the problem the Godfather is being asked to solve. Remember the way he solved the last problem for Johnny? Let's see what happens this time.

DON CORLEONE
ACT LIKE A MAN! By Christ in Heaven, is it possible you turned out no better than a Hollywood finocchio.

Both HAGEN and JOHNNY cannot refrain from laughing. The DON smiles. SONNY enters as noiselessly as possible, still adjusting his clothes.

DON CORLEONE
All right, Hollywood… Now tell me about this Hollywood Pezzonovanta who won't let you work.

JOHNNY
He owns the studio. Just a month ago he bought the movie rights to this book, a best seller. And the main character is a guy just like me. I wouldn't even have to act, just be myself.

NOTE: Notice that this is a bigger problem. The head of a studio is now refusing Johnny a part. Worse, yet, it is a part that is perfect for Johnny. This has raised the stakes and makes us wonder how the Godfather might solve this one.

The Don glances at SONNY, who makes himself as inconspicuous as he can. Then back at Johnny.

 DON CORLEONE
You look terrible. I want you to eat well, to rest. And spend time with your family. And then, at the end of the month, this big shot will give you the part you want.

 JOHNNY
It's too late. All the contracts have been signed, they're almost ready to shoot.

NOTE: With those last two lines, the problem has been raised to the level of "impossible to solve." Contracts signed? Ready to shoot? Studio head refuses him the part? What could possibly solve all of that?

Here it comes…

 CORLEONE
I'll make him an offer he can't refuse.

He takes JOHNNY to the door, pinching his cheek hard enough to hurt.

DON CORLEONE
Now go back to the party and leave it to me.

NOTE: In this case, the line is used as Anticipatory Dialogue that causes us to look into the future of the script and wonder how the offer will be presented and what response will come.

We've experienced the setup of Michael's story. Then, we saw just how impossible it is to solve Johnny's problem. Now, we are trying to put the two together, but if this line is going to hold up, the payoff must surprise us in some way.

Notice one more thing about this simple line. Johnny doesn't continue to plead his case. When the Godfather tells him that an "offer he can't refuse" will be made, Johnny accepts it as a workable solution to his unworkable problem.

Now, we need to experience the payoff.

In the next scene, Tom Hagen is sent to negotiate with the head of the studio — Woltz.

At first approach, Woltz trashes Hagen. Then, after some research, he invites him to dinner at Woltz's plush Hollywood estate. Before dinner, Woltz shows Hagen his prize posession — a $600,000 horse.

INT. NIGHT: WOLTZ DINING ROOM (SUMMER 1945)

HAGEN and WOLTZ sit at an enormous dining room table, attended by SEVERAL SERVANTS. Great paintings hang on the walls. The meal is elaborate and sumptuous.

HAGEN
Mr. Corleone is Johnny's Godfather. That is a very close, a very sacred religious relationship.

WOLTZ
Okay, but just tell him this is one favor I can't give. But he should try me again on anything else.

HAGEN
He never asks a second favor when he has been refused the first. Understood?

Angered, WOLTZ moves to Hagen's side of the table.

WOLTZ
You don't understand. Johnny Fontane never gets that movie. That part is perfect for him; it'll make him a big star. And I'm gonna run him out of the business, and let me tell you why.

(dialogue cut about a girl Johnny stole from Woltz)

Now, you get the hell outta here. And if that gumbah tries any rough stuff, you tell him I ain't no band leader!
Yeah, I heard that story….

HAGEN
Thank you for the dinner and a very pleasant evening. If your car could take me to the airport. Mr. Corleone is a man who insists on hearing bad news immediately.

HAGEN exits.

NOTE: But where's the offer he can't refuse? He just refused, right? What has really happened is that Woltz has been established as a man who deserves the punishment he gets.

For the audience, it looks like the "offer" has failed. But Woltz himself reminds us about the previous offer by saying "… I ain't no band leader. Yeah, I heard that story." Having Woltz recall the band leader story causes us to think back and remember that the previous offer was also refused, but the band leader was persuaded in the end. So there is more to come.

IMPORTANT: If the next scene was Luca Brasi holding a gun to Woltz's head, it would have felt cliche. We had already heard that in Michael's story. So it had to go to the next level.

In this case, we need a surprising bigger-than-life payoff that people can't stop talking about.

That comes in the next scene…

INT. DAY: WOLTZ'S BEDROOM (SUMMER 1945)

It is large, dominated by a huge bed, in which a man, presumably WOLTZ, is sleeping. Soft light bathes the room from the large windows. We move closer to him until we see his face, and recognize JACK WOLTZ. He turns uncomfortably; mutters, feels something strange in his bedsheets. Something wet.

He wakens, feels the sheets with displeasure; they are wet. He looks at his hand; the wetness is blood. He is frightened, pulls aside the covers, and sees fresh blood on his sheets and pajamas. He grunts, pulls the puddle of blood in his bed. He feels his own body frantically, moving, down, following the blood, until he is face to face with the great severed head of Khartoum lying at the foot of his bed. Just blood from the hacked neck. White reedy tendons show. He struggles up to his elbows in the puddle of blood to see more clearly. Froth covers the muzzle, and the enormous eyes of the animal are yellowed and covered with blood.

WOLTZ tries to scream; but cannot. No sound comes out.

Then, finally and suddenly an ear-splitting scream of pure terror escapes from WOLTZ, who is rocking on his hands and knees in an uncontrolled fit, blood all over him.

NOTE: Now, who would have predicted that? A dead horse head is a pretty shocking thing to wake up to… and it made a strong visual payoff. At the time, it was completely unique.

In a later scene, flowers are delivered to the Godfather… from Johnny. He got the part. The "offer he can't refuse" was accepted.

IN CONCLUSION:

Take a look at all the ways meaning was built into this line:

• A unique phrase that was linked to a violent outcome.
• A reputation and mystery created in advance.
• An unsolvable problem was presented.
• The offer was refused, then…
• A surprising/shocking payoff.

Take five minutes and think through your script. If you spot a few lines that you really love, check to see if they need any of these skills. Many times, it is the setup before the line and the payoff after the line that make it great.

And if you want to hone your skills at delivering amazing lines like this, check out our Advanced Dialogue Screenwriting Class.